When it gets dark out, I often look up to see the stars. However, all I see are dark clouds that look like smoke smeared across the sky in Seattle. One night a couple weeks ago, it was a particularly clear night and as I was crossing 520 I saw the moon. I felt as if I was driving into a painting, the way it floated above the bridge. You could see the craters, the colors and most stunning of all it was terribly bright. It was incredibly difficult but I had to tear my gaze away from it and maintain my focus on the road. In all of my excitement I called my mom and told her about how awestruck I was by the moon and that she had to see it. I told her that I was coming to pick her up and drive her to a place where she could see it better. She seemed a bit perplexed over all my excitement, but agreed.
As I came to pick her up I peered up at the sky at a near by intersection and I couldn’t see it. “Maybe its just because I am in the car,” I thought. As I pulled up to get her I started to get buttery flies in my stomach. We drove around and chatted for a bit, but we couldn’t see the moon. We drove up, and down the streets around my house and nothing. I could tell that my mom was getting confused, as I grew more and more frustrated. We went to a gorgeous viewpoint from which I was sure we could see it, and it wasn’t there. How could this be? My mind raced and I started to ramble and question how this could be? My mom looked over at me told me not to worry a cloud probably covered it. I offered that we could wait and she said not to worry about it. I felt sad, frustrated and overwhelmed. It was just the moon I thought, why I am getting so hung up over this? As my mom and I drove home I could tell that she was still very confused as to why I was so upset and why this meant so much to me.
A couple weeks later we began to talk about my future after graduation. I began to share some of my goals and aspirations for myself, and she shared her thoughts as well. We talked about the possibility of travel, work, moving and continuing my education. As I shared my view of where I see myself, while she believes in me, she expressed to me over and over again how she, “doesn’t understand why I am in such a rush to get there?” Why I don’t take time and explore? In that moment I thought about the moon that night, how it looked and how bright it was. I thought about my excitement and how humbled I was by its beauty. I remembered the car ride trying to find it again and how it just seemed to disappear. I stepped out side and I didn’t see the stars that night, I started to feel fear. How can we explain the things that are inexplicable? How can we share the moon with others, when even we were just hoping to see the stars?